Simplify and appreciate.

I'll never forget an intriguing interview Paul Newman and Joanne Woodard gave to Barbara Walters years ago on television. Ms. Walters asked them how they had managed to stay married so long in Hollywood during four decades of marriage. Paul Newman replied, "This is a throw-away society. We throw away children, friends, marriage, enough trash to sink the planet and anything else we don't want. People don't respect what's important as they should. Love and compassion is important. The rest is just extra gravy." Or something to that effect. His words have stayed with me for many years because he was right. We ARE a throw away society.

Here's a good example...

Today I read an article about a home for sale. Initially I laughed out loud reading about this "home" but after a few lines, I'm pretty sure I gasped which quickly turned to disgust. Disgust turned to sadness.

Here are the details:The asking price:  $75 MILLION.  TWENTY THREE  (yes, 23)  bedrooms, 13 bathrooms, 10 kitchens, 3 swimming pools. The extras :  a 20 car garage, a bowling alley, a rolling rink, a movie theater, a video arcade, a fitness center, a baseball field, and 2 tennis courts (one is never enough).

Now, here's the sad and most ridiculous part....it's not complete.  There are no interior walls, carpet or floors. It's being sold "as is".  This mega mansion is now the most expensive home for sale in the United States,knocking the Spelling mansion into second place. This is not excess.  This is what I call a shame.  An unbelievable waste of resources, man power, materials and greed.  ( The article left out how many family members the home was being built for but my guess would be very few. )

When my parents passed on,  we inherited  furniture, dishes, silver, crystal, photographs and many sentimental items including various personal effects.  No one on Earth could have talked me into parting with anything that belonged to my parents.  Not even a slip of paper could have been pried from my hands. Unfortunately, my home wasn't large enough to accommodate the truck loads of cherished items. We immediately moved to a 3600 square foot home just to make room for possessions, even though only three of us were living together at the time.

Dad used to say, "All I need is a bed, a desk, table, chairs, a TV, my guitars and something to play music on. I bought this house on the lake for the windows. I can't see out the windows because June loves all this antique furniture. Nothing's wrong with that, but I want to see out the windows. All this stuff is just wood and nails that ends up owning YOU instead of you owning IT."

June proclaimed often, "I love to be surrounded by pretty dishes and things.  I love to to collect. When we're gone, the children will enjoy all this."

Mom's theory was, "I enjoy nice things and I like decorating my house.  I don't see the point of having so much clutter that you aren't comfortable and don't notice the house is decorated nicely."

After taking these statements into consideration I tend to agree with all three opinions.   However, there is one missing ingredient.  BALANCE.

Dad - I'm simplifying.

June - I love beautiful, lovely things.

Mom - I've made my home nice, tasteful and comfortable.

Now for the obstacle.  My home is completely full including two 2 car garages.  I'm ready to put the BALANCE into action.  Every sentimental item will remain in my possession until I cross over and leave this planet. My children will become the "keeper of the flame" and hopefully pass beloved treasures to the generations that follow.

How much do we  NEED to have a nice, comfortable life? Not WANT, NEED.  Not as much as we think we do.  I'm recycling every way I can by donating, selling or giving things away that may benefit others and bring them pleasure.

Dad and June have been gone seven years. Mom left this planet five years ago. It's time to let go of excess "stuff" they would have told me years ago to get rid of.

I don't need vintage trunks. I have luggage complete with handles and wheels which is much more practical.

I don't need 3,000 antique dishes.  I will never have a sit down dinner for 1,000 people.

I don't need 500 pieces of silver.  A few beautiful pieces is more than adequate.   I appreciate every item very much but I don't like to polish it and takes a lot of space to display.  I would much rather travel, write, draw, paint, watch a good movie, relax and enjoy people I love.  THAT'S what's important in life.

Let me rephrase that. It's not important. It's VITAL .

My parents were loving, kind, compassionate and amazing. They believed laughter, family and love were what really mattered. "The rest was just extra gravy."  I know if they were here today, each one would say, " I agree with Paul Newman. Lighten the load, look out the windows, enjoy the view and appreciate the beauty of it all.  Never throw away what's really important."

Love to you all~

Laughter, the Universal language.

“A laugh is a smile that bursts.”

"The person who knows how to laugh at himself will never cease to be amused.”

“An optimist laughs to forget, a pessimist forgets to laugh.”

“That is the best - to laugh with someone because you both think the same things are funny.”

Songwriters, poets and authors have always talked about the importance of laughter.

Life, Love & Laughter

Lyrics by Donavon Frankenreiter

I’m lookin for life, love and laughter
Everything in between and what happens after
I’m lookin for life, love and laughter
Everything in between and what happens after
Lookin for laughter

"Humor is infectious. The sound of roaring laughter is far more contagious than any cough, sniffle, or sneeze. When laughter is shared, it binds people together and increases happiness and intimacy. In addition to the domino effect of joy and amusement, laughter also triggers healthy physical changes in the body. Humor and laughter strengthen your immune system, boost your energy, diminish pain, and protect you from the damaging effects of stress. Best of all, it's fun, free, and easy."

We all gravitate to people that make us laugh because it's truly as important as breathing and eating. Life is hectic and stressful, so when we don't nurture it as we should, it's inevitable we find ourselves feeling tired and down.

Dad always said that if you didn't have at least one belly laugh a day, you've wasted a day. He was right, and he was brilliant at finding humor in negative situations.

If financial stress was the issue at hand, his saying was "Baby, they're circling. Build a bigger fire around camp."  When he was sick, I'd ask him how he was doing. His answer was always the same "I'm one day better baby. One day better."

Dad had  funny little phrases for just about everything. When assessing a dining table full of Southern food, he'd say, "C'mon children, let's eat to keep our fat up."

He called every driver on the road Herman. One time I was in the passenger seat with dad driving. (He was a terrible driver) I said, "Daddy, watch out, there's a Mack truck coming at us!" As he made a left turn in front of the truck, he said, "It's okay honey, it's on your side. BACK OFF HERMAN!" We laughed until we were sore.

Dad's example for turning things around helps me constantly try to find humor even on the darkest days.

In High School, I was sent to the principal's office on a VERY regular basis for laughing in class.

I had one teacher that put up with me if something funny struck me, but the rest of them had me walk that familiar path straight to Father Mescal's (the principal's) office.    Every time I knocked on that door, I simply said, "It's me Father." He knew my voice well. All I had to do is sit there until the next period. Most of the time I was accompanied by one of my friends...always Fran or Nancy (sometimes all three of us)  and occasionally I would get someone else in trouble.

I was a decent student, but I was much more interested in the social benefits of school. That to me was much more fun and important. In my Junior year, it was time for my final exam in French. I was clueless. I looked at that test, recognized about 5 words on the questionnaire, and knew it was time for a plan of action. I flipped my paper over, drew a picture and wrote my teacher a note on the front of the test :

Mrs. Schneider,

I have been in your class for 2 years and still don't know a word of French. I drew you a sketch on the back of this test because I'm much better at art than I am foreign language. I hope you'll grade me on that instead of French because as you can see, I didn't answer any questions.

Thanks, Kathy Cash

A couple of days later she handed us our "completed" tests with our grade results.

I held my breath expecting a huge fat "F" on my paper. After getting up the nerve to look, I was surprised to see a big "D-".  (I PASSED?...wow. Maybe she appreciates art. No. Maybe she liked my drawing? I doubt it.)  I knew it wasn't because she got a laugh out of it. She had no sense of humor. None. At all.

I waited for everyone to leave until I made my way to her desk. She glared at me for what seemed like the thousandth time, and waited for me to initiate the conversation. "ER, Mrs. Schneider. Thank you for passing me on the test, but why didn't you fail me?" Her eyes seemed to stare right through me and in her broken French - English accent said very sternly, "MISS CASH, I have tried to teach you for 2 years. I passed you because I cannot take one more year of you!"  I politely thanked her and got out of her classroom as quickly as possible.

Fran and Nancy were waiting outside the room impatiently waiting to find out what happened. I couldn't help it. I started laughing uncontrollably about the ridiculous attempt I made, but more about the fact that it worked!

Evidently Mrs. Schneider wasn't hard of hearing. I continued to get many more glares from her the rest of my high school days.

I recently took a much needed trip back to California where I was raised and attended school.

( When you're raised Catholic, you basically go to school with the same people from Kindergarten until you graduate.) We were a very small community then.  When you have a special connection like that,  re-connecting  has been important to me, especially these last few years.

I laughed until my sides and jaws hurt. I had a great time, loved spending time with my long time friends and I even slept better than I have in years.

It was a healing trip for me.

"Laughter is the shock absorber that eases the blows of life."

Think about that. It REALLY IS a shock absorber, and it DOES ease life's blows.

I wish you love and LAUGHTER every day.

~Kathy

We become what we know.

I had another birthday a few weeks ago, so I have finally admitted that I'm middle aged. There. I said it.

I took my time accepting that term but I have never been one for conforming just because it was time.

I'm the same person inside as I always was ; I just happen to own more moisturizer, eye cream, and comfortable shoes.  I have managed to convince myself that IF I AM GRAY HEADED, it must be just a few strands because hair dye has always been a staple in my life.  Okay, I'll admit it, former hair colors were eggplant, black, fushia, and even pink once. I have graduated to the natural colors now. Granted, I have 4 "natural" colors in my hair now, so I guess I AM getting older.

I'm even a certified card carrying AARP member.

Don't laugh. When YOU turn 50,  AARP envelopes will start filling up your mailbox too. (I vividly remember the  gasp that escaped my throat when I received that first "welcome letter".)

"WELCOME - You're now 50!" REALLY?  Yeah, really.

None of my birthdays have ever bothered me,  yet I expected my 54th year would in some capacity.

It hasn't, at least not in a negative manner. Discovering and exploring who I am has been more of an interesting ride and fascinating journey; however, I do despise two things about being older.  The daily aches and pains from every little injury I've ever had are annoying, including some new health issues I inherited along the way.  That problem is nothing, though, compared to the worst pain of all: losing people we dearly love. That leaves a hole in my heart and a lump in my throat that can never be repaired with medication or surgery.

On a positive note, I have noticed certain characteristics, habits and traits from my parents coupled with my own life experiences. It's an interesting ride and a fascinating journey when you realize they have left more of an imprint on you than you thought.

Here are some things I've carried on that I can honestly give credit to mom and dad for....

• I learn something from everyone I cross paths with and have always had friends of every age. I love all types of people.
• I always have an open door for my friends. On the initial visit to my house everyone is waited on.  After the first time, our front door, refrigerator and home is completely open.
• I'm addicted to shoes, coffee, candles, flowers, good movies and laughter.
• I love music, sketching, painting, gardening and creating.
• I talk to everything and everyone, including myself, plants, flowers and all inanimate objects.
• I say what I mean and mean what I say. (Often being forced later, to pull a foot or two from my mouth.)
• I always keep tomato soup in my pantry because it will be there IN CASE I feel bad or get sick.
• I'm apparently - according to some people - a terrible driver.
• I have mom's bone structure and stature with dad's eyes and big feet.
• I try to find humor in something every day because laughing is as vital to me as breathing. The volume of my laugh is from dad, the sound of it is mom.
• I'm clumsy and apparently always have been.
• I'm a hovering mother. I call my children every day to check in and it can be a bit smothering.
• I'm a homebody but I love to travel.
• I wear a lot of black - every day. I always have, always will.
• I'm a good cook, don't know how to cook small amounts , yet I have to be in the mood.
• I'm eclectic. My home, closet and personality is a combination of old and new.
• I find myself using words and phrases both parents used. (Just the other day I actually said, "As poor as a church mouse." WHAT? I've never used that phrase before)
• My attention span is all over the place. (You can guess who that's from.)

My parents have crossed over, but their blood runs through me. Their souls, character, mannerisms and certain traits are always part of who I am.

I carry these things with pride and gratitude until I live my last day and cross over to join them.

The 5th time…..

VIVIAN LIBERTO CASH DISTIN

When you lose one person, suddenly the world can seem depopulated.

I don't believe in coincidences or unexplained events.  I never have.  I am extremely lucky and grateful for the parents I was given, and I've never taken it for granted.

I believe each one of us has many specific tasks and lessons to learn. I also believe that we are born into the family we will learn the most from. I believe that every soul's life is a miracle.

I believe we are here to learn compassion, empathy, critical lessons, but most of all,  how to love one another without judgement, criticism or envy.

Today I honor my sweet Mama. She crossed to the other side 5 years ago today. It doesn't seem possible because one day it feels like yesterday and the next day it feels like forever.

Mom's been gone 5 years.

My sister Rosanne is 55 today. Mom passed away on Rosanne's 50th birthday.

Rosanne was born in 1955.   This is the 5th month.

Not a coincidence. The number FIVE has specific meaning this year............ I'm anxious to see what it brings.

Life takes such surprising twists. Sometimes you find yourself in a valley and other days you are shouting from a mountain top. Today I'm at the bottom of a ravine.

My heart and soul are forever wounded, yet I managed to get through the last several years. I didn't know it was possible to actually go on without certain people. I discovered I'm stronger than I would have ever thought, thanks only to my faith and lessons instilled by my parents.

HOWEVER -- I'm tired of missing my loved ones.

I will never stop missing my mom. I will never stop missing my dad and many loved ones that are gone on.

The older I get, the more I accept HOW I am. I discover WHO I am and WHERE I AM.  What a journey.  That blessing is bent and tarnished only by losing our loved ones and feeling every ache in my aging body.

Thank you Mama for teaching me how to be a proper Southern woman. Thank you for teaching me about faith and the afterlife. Thank you for teaching me respect and compassion for others. Thank you for a million things that were matched only by the million hugs, kisses and "I love you's".

I celebrate mama today and am sending a huge hug, kiss and "I love you" to her today and always.

Thanks to all of you for being here. Much love to everyone.