23Jun11
Simplify and appreciate.
I'll never forget an intriguing interview Paul Newman and Joanne Woodard gave to Barbara Walters years ago on television. Ms. Walters asked them how they had managed to stay married so long in Hollywood during four decades of marriage. Paul Newman replied, "This is a throw-away society. We throw away children, friends, marriage, enough trash to sink the planet and anything else we don't want. People don't respect what's important as they should. Love and compassion is important. The rest is just extra gravy." Or something to that effect. His words have stayed with me for many years because he was right. We ARE a throw away society.
Here's a good example...
Today I read an article about a home for sale. Initially I laughed out loud reading about this "home" but after a few lines, I'm pretty sure I gasped which quickly turned to disgust. Disgust turned to sadness.
Here are the details:The asking price: $75 MILLION. TWENTY THREE (yes, 23) bedrooms, 13 bathrooms, 10 kitchens, 3 swimming pools. The extras : a 20 car garage, a bowling alley, a rolling rink, a movie theater, a video arcade, a fitness center, a baseball field, and 2 tennis courts (one is never enough).
Now, here's the sad and most ridiculous part....it's not complete. There are no interior walls, carpet or floors. It's being sold "as is". This mega mansion is now the most expensive home for sale in the United States,knocking the Spelling mansion into second place. This is not excess. This is what I call a shame. An unbelievable waste of resources, man power, materials and greed. ( The article left out how many family members the home was being built for but my guess would be very few. )
When my parents passed on, we inherited furniture, dishes, silver, crystal, photographs and many sentimental items including various personal effects. No one on Earth could have talked me into parting with anything that belonged to my parents. Not even a slip of paper could have been pried from my hands. Unfortunately, my home wasn't large enough to accommodate the truck loads of cherished items. We immediately moved to a 3600 square foot home just to make room for possessions, even though only three of us were living together at the time.
Dad used to say, "All I need is a bed, a desk, table, chairs, a TV, my guitars and something to play music on. I bought this house on the lake for the windows. I can't see out the windows because June loves all this antique furniture. Nothing's wrong with that, but I want to see out the windows. All this stuff is just wood and nails that ends up owning YOU instead of you owning IT."
June proclaimed often, "I love to be surrounded by pretty dishes and things. I love to to collect. When we're gone, the children will enjoy all this."
Mom's theory was, "I enjoy nice things and I like decorating my house. I don't see the point of having so much clutter that you aren't comfortable and don't notice the house is decorated nicely."
After taking these statements into consideration I tend to agree with all three opinions. However, there is one missing ingredient. BALANCE.
Dad - I'm simplifying.
June - I love beautiful, lovely things.
Mom - I've made my home nice, tasteful and comfortable.
Now for the obstacle. My home is completely full including two 2 car garages. I'm ready to put the BALANCE into action. Every sentimental item will remain in my possession until I cross over and leave this planet. My children will become the "keeper of the flame" and hopefully pass beloved treasures to the generations that follow.
How much do we NEED to have a nice, comfortable life? Not WANT, NEED. Not as much as we think we do. I'm recycling every way I can by donating, selling or giving things away that may benefit others and bring them pleasure.
Dad and June have been gone seven years. Mom left this planet five years ago. It's time to let go of excess "stuff" they would have told me years ago to get rid of.
I don't need vintage trunks. I have luggage complete with handles and wheels which is much more practical.
I don't need 3,000 antique dishes. I will never have a sit down dinner for 1,000 people.
I don't need 500 pieces of silver. A few beautiful pieces is more than adequate. I appreciate every item very much but I don't like to polish it and takes a lot of space to display. I would much rather travel, write, draw, paint, watch a good movie, relax and enjoy people I love. THAT'S what's important in life.
Let me rephrase that. It's not important. It's VITAL .
My parents were loving, kind, compassionate and amazing. They believed laughter, family and love were what really mattered. "The rest was just extra gravy." I know if they were here today, each one would say, " I agree with Paul Newman. Lighten the load, look out the windows, enjoy the view and appreciate the beauty of it all. Never throw away what's really important."
Love to you all~
Random Quote
Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
—
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June 23rd, 2010 - 01:34
I remember that interview as well. I love the way that you write I hang on every word. I think (IMO) that divorce and everything is made to easy today. Anything worth having is worth the blood sweat and tears. But its easy to say I want or better yet to try to impress with all the “stuff” that we have. George Carlin made reference to this years ago, “the more stuff the bigger the place we need to put that stuff!” I’ve had money and I’ve been broke and I can tell you I was happier with less stuff and less money. Simply because as your Daddy said “it was simple and easy” and I could relax and be myself and not a version of someone else’s expectations. I had the pleasure and honor of meeting Paul and his wife Joanne in Winston-Salem NC, because Joanne’s mother lived there. Small world. I let them finish eating and then approached scared to death, both could not have been more gracious and kinder to me and my friend Robin. I did not ask for an autograph due to the fact that I had heard he would not sign. I did ask him why that was and with the bluest eyes I have ever seen and a slight grin he said, Joan I will tell you when I quit signing, when I was in a urinal in NYC and the man beside me asked for an autograph.” The rest as he said was “extra gravy.” He told that same story in that interview that you spoke of so I know he was truthful and honest. He like your parents “got it” their whole lives and passed on such wonderful things to you!!! Laughter, family and love and you have passed those things on to everyone you touch!! I am blessed to have you and your insight in my life. KC, “pass the gravy.” Love to you!! Joan
June 23rd, 2010 - 04:21
Kathy, thanks for reminding me. You’re right on the mark. So much stuff can get in the way of living.
Keep writing. I love reading your blogs.
Happy Summer.
Love,
Linda
June 23rd, 2010 - 06:56
Here latley I have been doing an inventory of things in my house that if I was to leave what would I take with me and today the answer would be .. My purse, keys and my smile and leave one word that was not there.. ADIOS!
June 23rd, 2010 - 23:05
Wow! Synchronicity. I just purchased a “cozy” home today. Some would call it tiny. But it is in a neighborhood that is safe, with neighbors I know and like, and there are 3 open acres of dog kennel, lawn, vegetable garden, and meadow. And a raccoon that shows up every afternboon to sit in an ash tree and watch the meadow.
There is room on the windowed porch for my desk where I write, and for the drums I am learning to play. There is room for my three guitars-one a Fender Strat with custom Cash graphics from the Birthday Bash in Corona this year!-and there is room for my bookshelves and my hundreds of books, and for my stereo and my music collection.
I will decorate with a few treasured and sentimental items, and will try and keep my clutter to a minimum.
Once again, your blog has hit home for me!
Thank you for your words today, Kathy.
Namaste to you.
June 24th, 2010 - 01:44
by the way, Mom. that house just sold.
June 25th, 2010 - 16:43
Kathy: yes-yes-yes, lighten the load . When I emigrated it was literally with a few suitcases – nothing shipped by boat or plane. I could do that again anytime but not everybody finds it easy to part with earthly goods. Astrology and the earth-water-fire-metal things comes a lot into it.
I have the theory that childhood should be growing up amongst a tight family and more austere, then we go out into the world, study, learn and realize our goals, and then from about 40 or so we should lighten the load of material goods, not only for ourselves, but for those who come after us.
I think space is a luxury that average Europeans have less of compared to Americans.
As far as your Mum and Dad go I think everyone on your website would treasure some memento of theirs, however small. It is marvellous that you are cherishing what they have passed on and that you have created a place and space where we learn and continue to learn so much about your family, both public and private and also your father’s legendary musical heritage to the world. Thank you Kathy – you have kept the candles burning…. Much love, Suzanne P.S. As a little school girl someone gave me a poem which ran something like this (I am translating) : It is dark in this world and it is up to us to bring light to the darkness – you in your corner, and I in mine…
July 2nd, 2010 - 01:06
Amen! My parents have been married 49 years; Tex and I will be married 24 in August. Too many people throwing what could be a good thing if they’d just work on it.
July 4th, 2010 - 17:23
That was really well written. I don’t understand it, but it was well put. I am one of those that is not very sentimental about “stuff” More like your dad I guess, I think all of it’s gonna burn one day, anyway. While God has blessed us finanacially, I try to keep a light touch on collecting things. Dawn is like your mom. Decorates tastefully without a lot of clutter. My sis is more like you. Things have a sentimental attachment to her and she wants to pass things down. Having said all that, my most prized possessions are a couple of autographs, photos and a limited addition concert poster bearing your dads name! Love to you!
July 30th, 2010 - 23:26
It’s not easy getting-rid of things we’ve had for years and/or things passed-on to us from loved ones. Doesn’t really matter whither or not we have any use for something or if it’s taking-up much needed space. Seems the longer we keep stuff, the more difficult to part with it. BUT, we finally reach a point where we force ourselves to make the move. It finally reaches the point of being a necessity.
September 14th, 2010 - 02:45
Kathy how right you are. I realized that a couple of years ago. We have gone crazy and we really must put on the brakes! …even here in Scotland
November 17th, 2011 - 05:57
“Life Is Good”,the simpler the better for me.